on love

way back when, i had a boyfriend. he was the first boyfriend i ever had, and he was my best friend before he was my boyfriend. we didn't date all that long, and too many hard circumstances got in the way, but we remained friends for awhile afterwards until we lost touch.

once he sent me an email as a reply to a forward that i had sent to him, something like, "45 things girls want guys to know" or something silly. At first I thought it was another forward, but realized he had written 45 things he wanted ME to know. i was very touched and i found it today while looking for another email. in some ways, he has some similair personality/character traits as Senator and while I have no feelings for this previous boyfriend, I had Senator in my head while I re-read this (revising what it said and thinking of it coming from Senator) and smiled. first boyfriend was a good boyfriend, but Senator is perfect in my life right now. i like to think that he feels the same way as the things below.

side note: the way it formatted some of the words ran together and i'm too lazy to fix it.



You know that you hold the deepest part of my heart,but there are a couple other things that I want you toknow.

1.Even though I am a sceptic, you have my trust. Thisis one of the most important things I can give.

2. Although there are times when I say nothing, itdoesn't mean I have nothing to say

3. I wish you all the success in the world, in everyaspect of the phrase.

4. Quiet almost never means angry

5. I don't keep secrets

6. I wish you would hold the same philosophy

7. You are never a burden, or even a load to carry tome.

8. It hurts me more not to talk about things than tojust be frank, or even blunt at times.

9. If something is special enough to me, words candetract from it, so even though I don't say anything I still hold it very close to me.

10. Talking about you actually IS more fun thantalking about me.

11. It is really frustrating to ask girls what's thematter and find out that they are on their period forthe 20th day in a row

12.By the same token, it does nothing good to aconversation to have to pry to see whats wrong

13. No one likes being manipulated, so I'd never do itto you.

14. Don't keep stuff from me just because I can'tdirectly solve a problem, there are other ways ofworking with problems.

15. You're NOT always comlaining (Period)

16. Distance means nothing, I am always there in someform or another

17. Don't assume anything

18. I can always see when there are more intentions to words or actions.

19. I have never lied to you

20. Nor do I plan to

21. Your hugs mean a lot to me too

22. I think about you constantly

23. If you always dwell on the past, you will neverhave a future

24. If you always feel like the future is hanging overyour head you will never have a present day life

25. Live life in today, and you'll see that visitingmemories and future plans is ok as long as you don'tmiss anything that is happening now

26. Make plans, I know you'll achieve them

27. Then live those plans step by step, one day at atime, then you'll be able to appreciate things as theyhappen

28. Your time is precious to me, even when there is nodeadline

29. I actually do want to hear about what you have tosay

30. Never deny yourself of your own feelings, you havea RIGHT to them

31. I love the way that you forgive people so readily

32. It worries me that you think forgiving is simplyburring it in the back or your mind. Eventually, ifyou burry enough there won't be room in the back ofyour mind, and many little problems become one or twohuge ones.

33. Although I give it to you casually, the words "ILove You" mean the world to me.

34. Never beat yourself up, the world does enough ofit for you

35. People come and go, the memories last forever.

36. I love you in more ways than you know

37. I appreciate everything you do

38. Whether or not I take things for what they are, I at least see them as they lie

39. Life is an unfair game, you may as well break therules

40. Intimacy comes in higher forms than making love

41. Poolside was one of them

42. I'm sorry for anything I have ever done thatdidn't make you happy

43. When I try to be perfect, it isn't for me; it'sfor you.

44. I want you to know that I hold you in the highestrespect; you have the most trust; you have my deepest love; our souls are connected on a level higher than my comprehension, and for that matter by no compulsay means on either of our parts; and our memories are the most important thing I posess

45. I want you to know that I Love you and I'll never forget.


edit: for extra points, guess how old he was when he wrote that