So.... what does it mean when Senator sends me a public link on facebook about a Mayor from California who just got married in the state he's from and eventually wants to move back to?
I just got goosebumps. I'm terrified and excited to think that he might be the one, that if we survive him going to law school, he and I will get married. It terrifies me because I don't want to open my heart to that idea so soon and because if I get hurt, it will hurt even more. But I can see us together in the future. Im just so scared of him going to law school and ruining what we have. I have a feeling I will be blogging about this a lot in my other blog, which I can give anyone the link to if you read this.
I can't believe six months ago when I said I liked him but never thought anything would happen, and now he's mine and it's good. We spend so much time together and dont get sick of each other and he's just... great. Sure, he drives me crazy and makes me angry sometimes, but what friend doesnt? He makes me laugh, he lets me cry, and his chest is perfect for me to lie on.
i moved all my crap to my new place this weekend and now just have the leftovers strewn across my floor. i. have. so. much. stuff. it took two uhaul trips. garage sale time, for sure. it's fun to shop for new bedding and furnature, craigslist is my new BFF. i don't understand why people spend tons and tons of money on new furnature when you can get gently used stuff on craigslist for free and cheap. if i get stuff new, im afraid of messing it up or breaking it. but if i pay a little for something i like, if it breaks, that sucks but its not a huge loss. nice expensive things make me nervous. not that i have nice expensive things other than my car, laptop and guitar (hardly the laptop anymore, it's going on six years old, lol), but whatever. Senator came up with a creative idea since we dont have living room furnature yet to use his bed as a couch, since he's inheriting a new bigger bed (thank god) and that will be fun (for awhile).
Anywho. back to looking on craigslist!
Monday, July 28, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
new house
i haven't written in here for awhile. but new rant! hooray.
I am moving to a nice big house this weekend. The catch: the landlords are my dad and my aunt. Which at first was awesome. And now it sucks. Hardcore.
problem one: cleaning and furnature.
the house used to be my grandmas. she moved to a retirement home and left tons and tons of stuff. which one one hand is awesome because i don't have any kitchen stuff and hardly any furnature. but the downside is that a lot of it is NICE and if it gets ruined, i'm screwed. and some of it is uuuuuugly. and i'm the one who has to get rid of it. plus, there are tons of burned out light bulbs and other things that need to be cleaned/fixed that again, I have to take care of.
problem two: wallpaper and paint
i was under the impression that we could get rid of the god-awful wallpaper and paint. we had someone come over last night to look at it and it turns out since the wallpaper is so old, it's going to take awhile to get rid of. and it's going to be exxxxxxpensive. we also found out that all the paint is oil based, which is desired now but its an ugly yellow color. which means we have to sand EVERYTHING before we paint it, and there are something like 20 doors in the house, not counting all the trim. plus, when the guy came over he ripped off a big chunk of wallpaper in my bedroom and now we aren't painting it which means I'm doubly screwed when my dad and aunt find out
problem three: pets
again, i was under the impression that we could get a pet. we could probably get away with getting a cat, but two of the four of us are allergic, so that's out. but i found out this morning that dogs are a no-no. which was part of the incentive for moving in.
so fuck this project. we would have been better off renting an apartment somewhere. none of this is turning out like I had hoped, and it's caused many arguements between Senator and I (who is great by the way).
yuuuuuuuuuuck
I am moving to a nice big house this weekend. The catch: the landlords are my dad and my aunt. Which at first was awesome. And now it sucks. Hardcore.
problem one: cleaning and furnature.
the house used to be my grandmas. she moved to a retirement home and left tons and tons of stuff. which one one hand is awesome because i don't have any kitchen stuff and hardly any furnature. but the downside is that a lot of it is NICE and if it gets ruined, i'm screwed. and some of it is uuuuuugly. and i'm the one who has to get rid of it. plus, there are tons of burned out light bulbs and other things that need to be cleaned/fixed that again, I have to take care of.
problem two: wallpaper and paint
i was under the impression that we could get rid of the god-awful wallpaper and paint. we had someone come over last night to look at it and it turns out since the wallpaper is so old, it's going to take awhile to get rid of. and it's going to be exxxxxxpensive. we also found out that all the paint is oil based, which is desired now but its an ugly yellow color. which means we have to sand EVERYTHING before we paint it, and there are something like 20 doors in the house, not counting all the trim. plus, when the guy came over he ripped off a big chunk of wallpaper in my bedroom and now we aren't painting it which means I'm doubly screwed when my dad and aunt find out
problem three: pets
again, i was under the impression that we could get a pet. we could probably get away with getting a cat, but two of the four of us are allergic, so that's out. but i found out this morning that dogs are a no-no. which was part of the incentive for moving in.
so fuck this project. we would have been better off renting an apartment somewhere. none of this is turning out like I had hoped, and it's caused many arguements between Senator and I (who is great by the way).
yuuuuuuuuuuck
Monday, July 14, 2008
stop at nothing
This was a good weekend.
I hung out with girls I used to be tight with during college but haven't seen in years, and followed that with a birthday party. On saturday, Senator and I went out to breakfast and went shopping all day, and then i went to a wedding reception for his cousin, where I met most of his extended family: aunts, uncles, cousins, grandma... most of them were very nice and we had a good time. We came home and he told me I owed him a walk, so we held hands and walked slowly to our college and back, looking at houses and hugging often and got home just as the sun finished setting. i was in a summer dress and he was in my favorite shirt.
we hung out and played games, went in the hot tub and snuggled all night and it was nice. The next day (sunday) i was gone most of the day at a bridal shower (he's IN the wedding, i'm friends with both the groom and bride) and left him at home. i invited a friend over and the three of us played some board games and watched a movie... our tv broke so we watched it in my bedroom. Senator and I were on the bed and our friend sat on a chair and we cuddled. twice he was mean to me and i told him later, "you're being mean to me" and I think he felt bad because he stopped and kissed my forehead.
i really like when he spends the night because i like being with him but sometimes i get claustraphobic and want to spread out. he tends to sleep in the middle of the bed so i get squished up against the wall in the crack.
this morning i was getting ready to leave for work and we both walked outside and I said bye to him and he said, "man, your car looks shiny" and i looked, and it was SO CLEAN. I'd been whining that I needed to get a car wash badly but i hadn't done it yet (and my parents are coming into town so I wanted it clean) and not only had he washed it (it was BAD. bird poo EVERYWHERE and dirt everywhere) but he amorall-ed the inside. What a sweetie. He must have done it when I was at the bridal shower.
I told my mom about us today. I purposely was really nice to her on the phone (i tend to be short with her more often than not) and finally was like, "i dont really know how to say this but senator and i are dating" and she laughed and said, "oh i know." I kind of figured she knew. it's not that hard to figure out. but since we live together, i didn't really know how she'd react. she got all awkward when she basically was trying to ask me if we are sleeping together and i blatantly told her our stance on that and it was kind of awkward.oh well.
i think i need to go to the doctor. i've been having wierd abdominal pain lately and the skin on my fingers is peeling. no idea if the two are related, but it makes me nervous. i hate doctors. i like to play the, "maybe if i ignore it, it will go away" game.
anywho. that's my story. Nothing much else is new. :)
I hung out with girls I used to be tight with during college but haven't seen in years, and followed that with a birthday party. On saturday, Senator and I went out to breakfast and went shopping all day, and then i went to a wedding reception for his cousin, where I met most of his extended family: aunts, uncles, cousins, grandma... most of them were very nice and we had a good time. We came home and he told me I owed him a walk, so we held hands and walked slowly to our college and back, looking at houses and hugging often and got home just as the sun finished setting. i was in a summer dress and he was in my favorite shirt.
we hung out and played games, went in the hot tub and snuggled all night and it was nice. The next day (sunday) i was gone most of the day at a bridal shower (he's IN the wedding, i'm friends with both the groom and bride) and left him at home. i invited a friend over and the three of us played some board games and watched a movie... our tv broke so we watched it in my bedroom. Senator and I were on the bed and our friend sat on a chair and we cuddled. twice he was mean to me and i told him later, "you're being mean to me" and I think he felt bad because he stopped and kissed my forehead.
i really like when he spends the night because i like being with him but sometimes i get claustraphobic and want to spread out. he tends to sleep in the middle of the bed so i get squished up against the wall in the crack.
this morning i was getting ready to leave for work and we both walked outside and I said bye to him and he said, "man, your car looks shiny" and i looked, and it was SO CLEAN. I'd been whining that I needed to get a car wash badly but i hadn't done it yet (and my parents are coming into town so I wanted it clean) and not only had he washed it (it was BAD. bird poo EVERYWHERE and dirt everywhere) but he amorall-ed the inside. What a sweetie. He must have done it when I was at the bridal shower.
I told my mom about us today. I purposely was really nice to her on the phone (i tend to be short with her more often than not) and finally was like, "i dont really know how to say this but senator and i are dating" and she laughed and said, "oh i know." I kind of figured she knew. it's not that hard to figure out. but since we live together, i didn't really know how she'd react. she got all awkward when she basically was trying to ask me if we are sleeping together and i blatantly told her our stance on that and it was kind of awkward.oh well.
i think i need to go to the doctor. i've been having wierd abdominal pain lately and the skin on my fingers is peeling. no idea if the two are related, but it makes me nervous. i hate doctors. i like to play the, "maybe if i ignore it, it will go away" game.
anywho. that's my story. Nothing much else is new. :)
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
the good life
Of course, I was being emotional and dumb and I got over it.
He's a sweetie, a nerd and a punk sometimes, but he's mine and that's all that matters. I'd much rather have a best friend than someone to make out with all the time.
I came home laaaaate last night expecting him to be asleep but he was awake watching radiohead and i came in to say hello and we talked for an hour or so, and then I was just going to go to bed and waited for him to finish up in the bathroom so I could say goodnight, and he came in and held me for awhile, and then in this cute voice said, "can i sleep in your bed tonight so we can cuddle?"
it was really cute. and that's what we did. I didn't sleep well because i'm still getting used to having someone in my bed, but even asleep he tries to hold me. it's adorable.
Mom, on the other hand, is someone i will be glad to be getting away from in a few weeks for good.
:)
He's a sweetie, a nerd and a punk sometimes, but he's mine and that's all that matters. I'd much rather have a best friend than someone to make out with all the time.
I came home laaaaate last night expecting him to be asleep but he was awake watching radiohead and i came in to say hello and we talked for an hour or so, and then I was just going to go to bed and waited for him to finish up in the bathroom so I could say goodnight, and he came in and held me for awhile, and then in this cute voice said, "can i sleep in your bed tonight so we can cuddle?"
it was really cute. and that's what we did. I didn't sleep well because i'm still getting used to having someone in my bed, but even asleep he tries to hold me. it's adorable.
Mom, on the other hand, is someone i will be glad to be getting away from in a few weeks for good.
:)
Monday, July 7, 2008
maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me
Things go so up and down with Senator. I think its because he does things that hurt my feelings without realizing it, and I'm super sensitive to a lot of things and take things personally.
Thursday night we went to a bbq and he sat in the corner and read while the rest of us socialized. We got home kind of early and he went to bed without saying goodnight to me, slamming the door (but to be fair, the doors slam whether you try to slam them or not) and the mixture of too much alcohol and high emotions made me flip out, sobbing on the phone to my friends. My friends were awesome though and helped me out, and I went to bed still upset but feeling better.
The next morning he came in and crawled into bed with me and I told him that I was upset and that even though he probably didn't realize it, he really hurt my feelings and that it's important to me to say goodnight and good morning. He was silent for awhile, but then got cuddly and we talked about other stuff and I felt better. He told me to go back to sleep because I was tired so I did, and when I woke up, he had saved me stuff to make breakfast, and he made it for me. We spent all morning/afternoon watching movies (this was on the 4th) and then had people over for a bbq and fireworks show. He cleaned most of the stuff up and spent the night. Saturday we spent most of it laying around and watching more movies (and he made me lunch) and later went to the gym, he made dinner for both of us, and he made a bonfire in our back yard and we held hands while we watched the flames burn out. It was really nice. He spent the night again and it was a great night. In the morning we went to church and he held my hand... I think he feels more comfortable with PDA's on his terms, he initiates it at church and while i feel a little uncomfortable doing that at church, I think it's sweet and people know that we're together. However, I need to STOP going there when I'm horribly hung over because it makes the messages extra long. lol. a few girlfriends and I went to see Made of Honor yesterday and while predictable and cheesy, it was a cute (dumb) chick flick.
my friend who i saw the movie with is really hesitant of my relationship with him. And i do worry that im making a big mistake, but it's too late now and i cant really undo it. most of the time i'm happy with him and he's so great. I just need to learn how to get what i need out of him and not take it personally when he doesn't meet my expectations. I wish he was a little more... forthcoming about how he's feeling, but he's a guy... so... but really, i get upset with him for reasons that make sense to me, and then he gets all sweet and nice and does little things for me that totally make up for it... only to hurt my feelings again later (probably without realizing it).
anyway. in other news, i kind of cant wait to move in a few weeks. mom is driving me nuts... she's so up and down too. yesterday she was moody and cranky and taking it out on us for no reason, and her and senator started fighting again. but later when it was just me, she was perfectly fine. who knows?
we have a new friend living in our house... i really should name him. He's a giant cockroach that somehow manages to escape death daily. We've tried killing him so many times, I'm starting to think it's like Metamorphosis. i woke up in the middle of the night last night and came back in my room, but turned on the light to make sure there wasnt an axe murderer who came in during the night and the stupid cockroach was running across the floor. eventually i decided not to care and went back to bed, but I sure didn't sleep well.
how on earth is it already july 7??? time flies, that's for sure.
Thursday night we went to a bbq and he sat in the corner and read while the rest of us socialized. We got home kind of early and he went to bed without saying goodnight to me, slamming the door (but to be fair, the doors slam whether you try to slam them or not) and the mixture of too much alcohol and high emotions made me flip out, sobbing on the phone to my friends. My friends were awesome though and helped me out, and I went to bed still upset but feeling better.
The next morning he came in and crawled into bed with me and I told him that I was upset and that even though he probably didn't realize it, he really hurt my feelings and that it's important to me to say goodnight and good morning. He was silent for awhile, but then got cuddly and we talked about other stuff and I felt better. He told me to go back to sleep because I was tired so I did, and when I woke up, he had saved me stuff to make breakfast, and he made it for me. We spent all morning/afternoon watching movies (this was on the 4th) and then had people over for a bbq and fireworks show. He cleaned most of the stuff up and spent the night. Saturday we spent most of it laying around and watching more movies (and he made me lunch) and later went to the gym, he made dinner for both of us, and he made a bonfire in our back yard and we held hands while we watched the flames burn out. It was really nice. He spent the night again and it was a great night. In the morning we went to church and he held my hand... I think he feels more comfortable with PDA's on his terms, he initiates it at church and while i feel a little uncomfortable doing that at church, I think it's sweet and people know that we're together. However, I need to STOP going there when I'm horribly hung over because it makes the messages extra long. lol. a few girlfriends and I went to see Made of Honor yesterday and while predictable and cheesy, it was a cute (dumb) chick flick.
my friend who i saw the movie with is really hesitant of my relationship with him. And i do worry that im making a big mistake, but it's too late now and i cant really undo it. most of the time i'm happy with him and he's so great. I just need to learn how to get what i need out of him and not take it personally when he doesn't meet my expectations. I wish he was a little more... forthcoming about how he's feeling, but he's a guy... so... but really, i get upset with him for reasons that make sense to me, and then he gets all sweet and nice and does little things for me that totally make up for it... only to hurt my feelings again later (probably without realizing it).
anyway. in other news, i kind of cant wait to move in a few weeks. mom is driving me nuts... she's so up and down too. yesterday she was moody and cranky and taking it out on us for no reason, and her and senator started fighting again. but later when it was just me, she was perfectly fine. who knows?
we have a new friend living in our house... i really should name him. He's a giant cockroach that somehow manages to escape death daily. We've tried killing him so many times, I'm starting to think it's like Metamorphosis. i woke up in the middle of the night last night and came back in my room, but turned on the light to make sure there wasnt an axe murderer who came in during the night and the stupid cockroach was running across the floor. eventually i decided not to care and went back to bed, but I sure didn't sleep well.
how on earth is it already july 7??? time flies, that's for sure.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
looking at the world from the bottom of a well
i got home last night after deciding all day that he was starting to lose feelings for me and he was all cuddly and sweet and goofy. we were standing in my room and goofing off and out of nowhere, he says,
"so i told my parents about us today"
and my jaw pretty much dropped. that's a HUGE deal. i asked him what they said and he said they were cool with it, (since we're moving together blah blah blah) and he said his mom pretty much had already figured it out.
he also said that she wants grandkids, which was kind of wierd but even so, i'm so relieved and happy they know.
so we spent a lovely night cuddling and laughing and being sweet
and it ended with frustration and crying. moreso with issues "down there"
we talked a little about it this morning and i think we're fine. but i hate this up and down.
but for now im going to focus on how happy i am his parents know and the fact that he told them on his own. :)
"so i told my parents about us today"
and my jaw pretty much dropped. that's a HUGE deal. i asked him what they said and he said they were cool with it, (since we're moving together blah blah blah) and he said his mom pretty much had already figured it out.
he also said that she wants grandkids, which was kind of wierd but even so, i'm so relieved and happy they know.
so we spent a lovely night cuddling and laughing and being sweet
and it ended with frustration and crying. moreso with issues "down there"
we talked a little about it this morning and i think we're fine. but i hate this up and down.
but for now im going to focus on how happy i am his parents know and the fact that he told them on his own. :)
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