Dear self,
you've been freaking out lately and i need you to stop. i know you freak out in relationships, and you are scared of them, but here's a list to re-read when you start feeling that intensity.
Things to remember:
1. live each day for what it is. it was designed to be shitty. or great. or mediokre. if every day was awful or beautiful, the highs and lows wouldn't be worth it
2. when he's cranky, it's probably not you. just let him go and be cranky and eventually he'll get over it. it's not going to do you any better to try and fix him and in fact, it will probably make it worse. just because you crave someone to come help you when you're cranky, doesn't mean everyone does.
3. it's not okay for him to neglect you
4. it's not fair for you to expect him to give you lots of attention just because you give 200%.
5. put some space between you and him sometimes.
6. you jumped into this relationship really fast and you have a tendency to get over your head in new projects. take a step back and re-evaluate and adjust.
7. you also have a tendency to look past whats in front of you hoping there is something better behind it. accept and appreciate what is accessable to you.
8. don't make excessive demands and get prince charming out of your head. even prince charming has flaws.
9. stop doubting yourself. you are beautiful, smart, loving and deserving of something wonderful. he cares about you, and so do your friends and family.
10. stop listening to depressing music at work and thinking too much about things that you don't have control over. it doesn't help anyone.
11. practice some restraint
12. don't cater to his every need. let him come to you sometimes. don't be too available. you'll just end up getting hurt.
13. don't give him your whole heart. give him a small peice and see how he treats it first, but be careful. we all know how much break ups suck.
14. how he makes you feel and the role he starts to play in your life shouldn't interfere with other friendships and relationships. your friends were there before the boyfriend, and they deserve priority too.
15. don't make him your whole life. ever. love, but carefully.
love,
me
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1 comment:
This sounds like a great letter hun, so true.
Don't lower your expectations, it's all about deciding which expectations are realistic though, and which may just be a happy surprise if they actually happen.
We all freak out, not only is it the girly thing to do but also human. I can understand it being, maybe not harder, but at least different to be developing a relationship a little older after you have already worked on gaining independence, independently! My hubby and I were still young enough to find it together, and I couldn't imagine bringing our adult independent selves together now verses then.
Part of me envies you, it's all new, fresh, the begining. A lot of firsts. The other part of me sadly doesn't, the uncertainty, the questions, for me I am glad that part is in the past. Just keep in mind hun, that at least in my case, I've never stopped freaking out, it's just the freak outs get smaller and less catastrophic. :o)
Love you hun!
Me.
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