wandering lights

Today I have spent four days away from him. The first day was awful and I called him up and had a long convo that under other circumstances, we might have broken up. And I was devastated. Ut right now, esp adter the awkward phoone convo we had, if we broke up, it would be because I wanted it. He doesn't give me butterflies and he sure doesn't give me moments to remember. My mom called him a dweeb and its so true. I love him but not in the way I should. I need more from him, and I'm not sure if ill ever get that. I don't know. We'll see.