Things go so up and down with Senator. I think its because he does things that hurt my feelings without realizing it, and I'm super sensitive to a lot of things and take things personally.
Thursday night we went to a bbq and he sat in the corner and read while the rest of us socialized. We got home kind of early and he went to bed without saying goodnight to me, slamming the door (but to be fair, the doors slam whether you try to slam them or not) and the mixture of too much alcohol and high emotions made me flip out, sobbing on the phone to my friends. My friends were awesome though and helped me out, and I went to bed still upset but feeling better.
The next morning he came in and crawled into bed with me and I told him that I was upset and that even though he probably didn't realize it, he really hurt my feelings and that it's important to me to say goodnight and good morning. He was silent for awhile, but then got cuddly and we talked about other stuff and I felt better. He told me to go back to sleep because I was tired so I did, and when I woke up, he had saved me stuff to make breakfast, and he made it for me. We spent all morning/afternoon watching movies (this was on the 4th) and then had people over for a bbq and fireworks show. He cleaned most of the stuff up and spent the night. Saturday we spent most of it laying around and watching more movies (and he made me lunch) and later went to the gym, he made dinner for both of us, and he made a bonfire in our back yard and we held hands while we watched the flames burn out. It was really nice. He spent the night again and it was a great night. In the morning we went to church and he held my hand... I think he feels more comfortable with PDA's on his terms, he initiates it at church and while i feel a little uncomfortable doing that at church, I think it's sweet and people know that we're together. However, I need to STOP going there when I'm horribly hung over because it makes the messages extra long. lol. a few girlfriends and I went to see Made of Honor yesterday and while predictable and cheesy, it was a cute (dumb) chick flick.
my friend who i saw the movie with is really hesitant of my relationship with him. And i do worry that im making a big mistake, but it's too late now and i cant really undo it. most of the time i'm happy with him and he's so great. I just need to learn how to get what i need out of him and not take it personally when he doesn't meet my expectations. I wish he was a little more... forthcoming about how he's feeling, but he's a guy... so... but really, i get upset with him for reasons that make sense to me, and then he gets all sweet and nice and does little things for me that totally make up for it... only to hurt my feelings again later (probably without realizing it).
anyway. in other news, i kind of cant wait to move in a few weeks. mom is driving me nuts... she's so up and down too. yesterday she was moody and cranky and taking it out on us for no reason, and her and senator started fighting again. but later when it was just me, she was perfectly fine. who knows?
we have a new friend living in our house... i really should name him. He's a giant cockroach that somehow manages to escape death daily. We've tried killing him so many times, I'm starting to think it's like Metamorphosis. i woke up in the middle of the night last night and came back in my room, but turned on the light to make sure there wasnt an axe murderer who came in during the night and the stupid cockroach was running across the floor. eventually i decided not to care and went back to bed, but I sure didn't sleep well.
how on earth is it already july 7??? time flies, that's for sure.
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